Gay, not Gay

Primarily because my children tend to believe that I’m intolerant of alternative lifestyles, I will again attempt to address this topic in writing as I did several years ago in the Texas Instruments newspaper “The Dallas Site”.  The title of this one, “Gay, Not Gay” refers to a radio segment on 1310 “The Ticket” during the midday Bob and Dan Show.  Ironically, Dan sounds Gay to me.  Whether it be right or wrong, popular culture now extends the term “Gay” to mean more than one’s sexual orientation.  It tends to be a catchall term for all things uncool.  Listeners pose actual or hypothetical scenarios to the hosts for them to bat around before making their assessment as to “Gay, not Gay”.  For example, one of the scenarios includes friends who wear matching workout clothes to the gym.  Unanimously Gay!  Not to be confused with Ace and Gary, “The Ambiguously Gay Duo” of SNL fame.

This is funny and not unlike the style of many comedians.  One such comedian, Wanda Sykes scolds us on a public service spot not to use the term Gay to mean stupid.  This is possibly the most hypocritical thing I’ve ever seen.  She makes her living making fun of people, taking no prisoners.  The public service announcement is the epitome of political correctness gone gay (stupid).  The radio show is funny, because it focuses on awkward situations that many of us have faced and/or wondered about.  We’re really taking shots at ourselves because we don’t know how to deal with odd circumstances.

 

I’ve had a couple of funny moments, made more so, because of the “Gay, Not Gay” influence.  On one occasion, Mark and I left work together during a pouring rainstorm.  Yep, he had an umbrella and I didn’t.  He reluctantly offered to share it as he said, “…but that’s probably Gay” as I echoed his sentiment and decided to run for it.  That being said, I also once declined a female coworker’s offer to share her umbrella, which would have also probably been Gay.  Another time, Mark and I went to lunch and stopped at Kohl’s because I needed underwear (kinda Gay).  When we checked out, we found out he could use his Senior Citizen discount, so he paid (definitely cheap, probably Gay).

Of course, the scenarios themselves are the most humorous part of the program.  I’ve heard so many, but can’t remember the verdicts.   The very fact that program has more to do with one’s actions in a social context and not their actual sexual preferences suggests the single most important point in my essay some twenty years ago, that defining oneself based on sexual orientation is so myopic.  Of course it is a part of you, but there is so much more to a person than the proverbial team on which they play.  Again, Seinfeld is the go to source of pop psychology.  “Not that there is anything wrong with that” is the punt of choice for us who want to dismiss the topic or avoid offending anyone.  This may be the second most used phrase among my friends, just after wanting credit for the big salad.  The phrase itself sounds like a bow to political correctness, but the way it is uttered is a nod to the absurdity of such.

I must admit to being tired and frustrated of being thrown into the gay basher or homophobic camp just because I’m not totally on-board with Gay Pride.  I am actually offended that someone might think that I would be mean or unjust to anyone because of their race, gender, beliefs or lifestyle.  I am, however, still perplexed how so many could vote without, at least their fiscal brain, in the most recent presidential election and am trying to forgive and forget, lol.   Of course, all are entitled basic human and civil rights.  What I am also offended by is the political influence wielded by those who feel entitled to special rights or privileges.  Having definite Libertarian leanings, I feel the same way about the religious right.  I’d rather see people living by their own morals and values without having to project them onto everyone else.  I’m all for standing up for what you believe in, but the best way to do it is by example and by not infringing on others’ rights.

I have often joked that I wanted to start an Employee Resources Group (ERG) at work for Nose Pickers.  This is in particular reference to the GLBTA initiative that my company funds.  I enjoy picking my nose especially when I have boogers, so it must be okay.  OMG, no one wants to hear or see that.  I should use a tissue.  That is disgusting!  So I will make you a deal.  Respect my right to pick my nose and I won’t try to tell you that it is good manners.

To be sure, I am not, but the presumed justification that one is born that way, doesn’t stand up as such for me.  A lot of folks are born with serious issues of one kind or another.  Some become extraordinary and yet others are institutionalized to keep them from infringing on the rights of others.  Pedophiles may be born to their hell, but no one thinks that is acceptable.  So I guess I wouldn’t hang my hat on that line of thinking if I were looking for justification.  We all try to justify things because they feel good or seem natural to us.  Heterosexuals with the supposed predilection towards propagating the species struggle with preserving fidelity.  Sadly, it is still more socially acceptable in most cultures to irresponsibly spread your seed than to be Gay.

I don’t care whether sexual preference is innate or whether it is learned, homosexuality is clearly not the ideal state our creator intended.  None of us are ideal, lest we forget we are far from it.  We are imperfect, hypocritical human beings who fall short of any absolute state. That doesn’t mean, though, that we shouldn’t aspire to such a model.  I will repeat from my earlier essay, what I hope will be remembered by my boys as my final word on said topic.  In this seemingly messed up and confusing world in which we live, I sincerely believe that the Spirit works through us all for good.